The idea that you are separate in any way arises only from your mind. When you seek to find the real nature of mind, you will discover that there is no mind. When you abide in Self, mind is nowhere. Therefore to be concerned about that which is only a thought is totally pointless.

You cannot have what you want, ever.

It is the wanting itself which destroys the possibility of ever having what you want, for the wanting is the very lack that you are trying to overcome. Wanting is lacking. You try to use the wanting mechanism to put an end to lack, but any relief is only temporary, and the lack soon returns, which feeds the wanting. It's a vicious circle.

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The day I awoke with no center of gravity, my heart knew it had blown its mind. There was an open cauldera where once my haircut neatly grew.

I seemed a cartoon character of myself dreamed up to keep the mind from being bored.